3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
I'm returning our mountain of beer cans, while wearing a Budweiser sweatshirt. i don't look like an alcoholic.
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
You are very nonchalant about the high probability of us having an orgy.
Eh, I'm ok with this, this can work. We're the best kind of the worst people.
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
Security deposit gone.
burned down garage with fireworks.
I'm getting drunk by myself again. But I'm not shotgunning any of them. That's self-restraint, right?
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
he just used a semicolon in the middle of a sext
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
Today some guy at work told me I had the nicest hair he's ever seen and my response was "thanks I grew it myself". This is why I'm single.
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
I got home and he was wearing a suit. He said he reason was because it was shirt and tie Saturday and that he won't change until midnight. He then proceeded to answer the door in a British accent.
Randomize