All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
My drunk body wants to fuck you so bad, but my high mind is telling me it's too much work. I think I'm just gonna stay home and eat some Mac and cheese. Sorry.
This is how we made chicken soup last night: Whole chicken in a pot of vodka with a box of crackers and some carrots. We should go pro.
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
My walk of shame wasn't complete until I projectile vomited clutching my truck bumper while he just smiled with that look of regret.
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
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