I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
You had already cockblocked me. The cops were just an assist.
Dude turns out her best friend is lesbian...there is no wingman for this situation
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
Just so you know, I'm standing in my bra eating cereal. My keys were in the cereal box.
Next time when I try to seductively eat onion rings while drunk remind me of tonight.
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
Randomize