3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
I passed out in the cab. Woke up to the cabby yelling SIR SIR WE ARE AT THE TRAIN STATION!! SIRRRR!!
Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
Need to stop getting stoned with this chick, I keep waking up covered in pizza sauce
I just found my coat check number in my underwear.
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
Also I legit had a girl at my bar crying tonight saying to her friend "why did he have to take his top off ?"
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
Randomize
