Just did shots with my boss to warm up for our sales call to Childrens Hospital. I love startups.
i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
I was freaked out. No man over 50 is allowed to touch me. Ever. Unless you're Michael Bolton. Then please do.
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
I'm obsessing over hocus pocus right now. What if I change my Grindr profile to "come little children, I'll take thee away to a land of enchantment"
You wanted to thank my penis. You wanted me to take the condom off so you could touch it and thank it.
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
He woke me up at 5am to recite nursery rhymes to our fictitious unborn child.
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
I ran into the marine at the grocery store. Its like my vag and his penis have this way of finding each other when I least want it.
Randomize
