last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
do you remember waking up from your blackout, kissing me ever so softly on the stomach, and saying "i love you bro. so much," then passing back out?
Oh please tell me that I'm sleeping in your shower and not the neighbor's again
I made him breakfast and we cuddled on the couch watching march of the penguins, which is, in case you were unaware, the opposite of fucking on a pool table
He sent me a picture of myself smashed completely butt naked passed out on the couch and said "at least I'll have these memories"
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
Wow, I just woke up in this conference with the woman beside me staring at me. This is what happens when hungover people sit in warm rooms...
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
My poor liver. I drank enough on NYE to sustain an alcohol addiction for the entirety of 2015.
The guys who program Autocorrect have never seen a vagina in person
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
Randomize
