I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
Just know that as we speak i am injecting vodka into gushers
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
Getting drunk before noon on a Tuesday. When did this become my life? Did you know that a six-pack of Smirnoff is 2 liters?
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
I solemnly swear I will not get your boyfriend puke in public drunk again
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
Well I just woke up to no pants, Gatorade on the headboard along with an uneaten steak, and the instinct I was a giant asshole.
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
After I chugged my beer the cop slapped my ass and said "atta girl" this can't be real life.
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