I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
I drank so much Goldschläger last night, I could shit a necklace.
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
I'm sorry I peed on the bushes at your law firm. Is there anyway you could defend me for the ticket I'm about to get?
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
Don't tell him that you hope he dies in a boring missionary position with his wife. That doesn't go over well.
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
Randomize
