I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
Glad I put on jeans. You could measure my ass sweat with a rain guage.
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
I don't save the phone numbers of guys I don't like. That way it's a surprise when a random number texts me and tells me I have great tits.
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
Only thing that feels right is being horizontal in the fetal position
I love you but this is the first Saturday I have ever spent at the police station. And where are my boxers?
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
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