Another f*ing night of vodka youporn and xanax. I need to get a goddamn life
3 great things that go great together... But not on a Friday night. Perfect on say... a Tuesday.
No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
Ya know what's the worst? Being drunk and wanting to show someone a picture of your goddaughter but not wanting to open the pictures on your phone because the first one is of someone's dick..
I don't feel like that was meant as a compliment, but really still feels like one
By the way, you're like fucking spiderman. I've never seen someone climb out of a car window that fast and eloquently.
Randomize
