oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
Bootycalls can't go limp that's like against the law
Randomize
