Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
He said "send me a motivational picture" so I sent one with mayo on my face that said "clearly I'm no stranger to white stuff on my face"...I'm the fuckingng worst
2 weeks shy of 25 and all I’m wishing for is a secret admirer who pulls my trash cans to the curb Wednesday morning for me because I always forget to Tuesday’s nights thanks to it being dollar draft night at the local bar
She was a cheerleader in college and President of her sorority and now she’s a sales rep for a pharmaceutical corporation. “High maintenance hot” doesn’t even begin to explain it
But dear lord is it worth it
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