If it wasnt for my iphone and loopt, I would still be wandering the streets in a drunken stooper. Thanks Steve Jobs.
im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
Why are you there anyways?
Pickin up ball pit balls from craigslist
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
My new gym is popular with trophy wives. They’re talking about yachts and plastic surgery
Learn their secrets! I want to meet men with Maseratis. The meat heads and Mustangs scene is getting old
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
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