My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
Everytime she tries to call me all I can think about is when she tripped walking down my steps during her walk of shame. Then I laugh until it goes to voicemail
The homeless guy out front said it's his birthday and he asked us to join him for happy hour after work. He's buying a fifth of gin to celebrate.
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
Hah I guess I sent that to like ten people, along with another one of me sitting in a bath tub eating an ice cream sandwich.
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
It's my birthday, if I want to stay home, get stoned and watch the gameshow network, that's what I'm going to do.
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
Randomize
