...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
After I told my husband the docter shot me in the ass, he said - oh they can but I can't?!
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
Dude, he sent me a pic of his dick. I thought dating a married man wouldn't remind me so much of high school. Seriously.
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
I just took a shit with a lightsaber in my hand. Dreams fulfilled.
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
My sister was borrowing my phone when the sext came through. She just said "wow. He's got a nice dick!" Then went on like nothing happened. Outed by a dick pic and its no big deal. Best sister ever.
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
Whenever you're sad about your life, just remember that I'm on a first name basis with the late night taco bell drive-thru workers.
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
That's good. So do you know why there is a giant pile of old tires in the laundry room and kitchen?
Well we knew you needed some tires, found someone on the way home who was giving them away and took them all. Has to be 4 in there you can use.
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
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