Very drunk. laura says hi. i can't find my pants. i think i'm in philly, but it might be jersey somewhere
You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
I just ate a raisin that tasted like wine. Is this real life or is this my body trying to tell me it's Friday and I should be drinking right now?
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
HE CHOSE A RESTAURANT AND MADE A FUCKING RESERVATION. I AM SHOOK
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