I cockslap morals
Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
I know. I know. The man who pulled me from my mother's womb was the same man who had his fingers in my vagina today. My life is a joke. I don't know how to feel about this.
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
I'm drunk, laying in bed, eating macaroni salad. I dropped a piece and tried to pick it up with a fork. My cleavage is bleeding and I haven't been laid yet. Heeeyyyy!!!
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
Hey, um, after thinking about it, I decided I really don't want to use applying olive oil to your ass for your fissure as part of foreplay because... well... really? Just read that again.
Randomize
