Define "chronic" masturbator.
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
i think the bruises are from the grocery store. on separate occasions. i've been spending a lot of time drunk at the market lately.
i have a vague recollection of being in the parking deck around 4 this morning, and on monday morning i was naked on the roof.
that would mean it's on tape
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
It's four o'clock and my 60yo aunt's tits have already made an appearance and there is a dildo traveling around the room periodically assaulting family members. Strangely I am thankful.
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
I'm truly not mad that he's at a strip club, it's that he couldn't look far enough into the future to figure out how to get himself home from one
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
She's officially a Tinder poltergeist.
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
Randomize
