Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
Thanks for feeding me more tequila shots to prevent me from trying to fight her last night. Horrible logic? Yes, but you are the best friend ever
Hey, don't feel sorry for me, the two girls in front of me just ordered 18 dollars worth of taco bell. Life could be worse.
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
Did you really have to freak out and get up half way through to put the cat in the closet?
...
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
Randomize
