had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many.
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
on the subway to an interview & there's a dude doing whippits out of a cheese wil can
I swear god is testing me by giving me awesome guys with tiny penises
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
Our first crop came in on the day that they added Hercules to Netflix Instant, I think it's the universe telling us that it approves of us growing shrooms in our guest room.
I just sent Brandon a snapchat where I wasn't wearing a shirt but had a rooster drawn on my boobs that said "cock block" and laughed for 10 minutes I have problems don't judge me
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
I was going to say that I wasn't sure how that happened... but then I remembered that I bonded with the Australians over vitamins and INXS and they bought me tequila.
Sorry you saw me having sex with your brother on the beach
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
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