It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
You should probably wake up already as I have yet another story for you. Teaser? Blood from knife wound. Tequila. Guitar hero. Kitchen counter. Lawyer.
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
Lost my virginity dressed as catwoman. He was dressed as batman. Glad I waited.
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
You gotta buy me dinner first. Or smoke me out. Both are equally chivalrous
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
It's not as funny as it sounds. I shit myself at the company Christmas party.
I've officially slept through a hurricane, a tornado and had sex during an earthquake. I'm surviving.
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
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