a queef is a wish your heart makes.
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
He woke up screaming about pickles. I think it's gonna be a good day.
There is something depressing about eating toast in a dark living room by myself using a paper plate that says: "Let's Party!"
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
this lesbian fantasy crush is getting WAY out of hand. just spent an entire meeting staring at her long fingers thinking, "oh those could be fun"
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
we were having a conversation about big dicks and the chick at the table beside us turned to us said "me and my boyfriend just broke up a few days ago. Could you please NOT talk about big dicks"
Just walked outside my house; realized I wasn't wearing any pants after about 3 minutes or so.
Drunk, high, hungover?
...I wish I had an excuse.
One minute we're singing Wagon Wheel, and the next you're belly dancing in a trash bag on the beer pong table
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