Do you not remember dry humping your dog for 20 minutes at oxfest dude?
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
he said he has something really important to tell me but isn't ready yet. It's either that he loves me or has herpes
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
There is a 1000000% chance you'll be turned down if you try coming on to me while I watch Star Wars.
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
I also have to vacuum the broken noodles out of my suitcase...
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
Going to jail. Warrant. Be home late. For the love of god turn your ringer on.
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
Randomize
