Dear tim. Christina farted and it smells like kid roses.
she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
I'm drinking screwdrivers in the pool naked. Call 911 if I don't check in regularly
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
at one point, you reached into your purse, pulled out a tampon, and proceeded to rub it on your lips like chapstick... that drunk
I fought off a bull with my bare hands while he went off to have sex with her against a wall. I’m more upset about the fact that no one is acknowledging what I did.
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