We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
I just scratched behind my ear and found icing. Fuck you.
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
I'm mopping my WALLS now. And talking to my mop. I literally just told it "yeah I kno that dirt doesn't wanna come off but were gonna get aren't we?" This is some good snow!!! mini maid needs to give it to their maids. The world would be spotless!!!!
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
Duuuude someone spilled hot sauce all over the floor and trailing outside wtf
OH GOD IT'S BLOOD. THIS IS ALOT OF BLOOD.
There is a reason my most meaningful relationship since 2012 has been with Duracel...
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
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