Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
I wish I had a dollar for every time I've slept off a late night I dont want to remember in my recliner.
Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
I feel like my nuva ring should have a vibrating switch.
when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
Just woke up in a Price Chopper bathroom stall with a half eaten cake on the floor. Had to get a ride from the waitress I made out with. What happened to "Don't let me drink Tequila?"
I lied.
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
While I was giving him head he told me he had to go door to door the next day and "spread the word of Jesus Christ" I felt like a Disney villain out to steal his virtue.
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
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