He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
I'm so drunk I cant read cursive anymore.
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
noo you weren't that drunk. you just knocked the grill over and couldn't get the key in the door, so you climbed through the window. success.
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
I'm pretty sure that when my parents bought me those savings bonds they thought it would go towards something useful like tuition. Not your bail.
I told you I'd buy you lunch.
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
He offered me handsanitizer after a hand job, you can't tell me he's not perfect!
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
And as drunk as I was I was able to show my mom how to make text italicized in Microsoft word
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
Randomize
