8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
I should do something nice for her. Like sign her up for "What Not To Wear."
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
You handed J your Mayan-pocalypse shopping list and told him he wasn't getting laid unless he brought everything on it. Where is he supposed to get a live goat?!
Sorry about coming to the pool in only a thong. I thought you said it was closed. Not that you were teaching a group of kids how to swim.
My mom is currently out with her lesbian friends and I'm home alone drunk listening to the Les Miserables soundtrack. WHY DO I FEEL THE NEED TO COMPETE WITH HER?
Who looks around on a bright, sunny day and says, "you know what? Today I'm going to write gay dinosaur erotica"
I completely forgot I gave up beer. But airports don't count. They're like international waters. No rules.
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
I got a lap dance last night from a girl while I was wearing a Captian America onsie. My life does not suck.
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
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