ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
meet me or not, i'm out of control
This is the LAST time i'm accepting the excuse "tequila made me do it". Even tequila thinks buying all of nickelback's itunes singles is fucking retarded
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
I found an HIV test/information brochure on the kitchen table and what i can only assume to be an "I'm sorry you might have AIDS" gift bag, complete with a candle and popcorn, and I haven't seen you in 36 hours. You good?
I just witnessed my first non cocain induced sunrise in five years.
Not my cup of tea
He was handing out home-made business cards that read "finger slamming bitches since 1986"\n
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
One lone grasshopper in the whataburger bathroom. Don't know how it got there. Scared the fuck out of me. Also puked over the side of the silverado fence. The horses looked disappointed. Animal magnetism is beautiful. You taught me well. I love you.
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
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