You just made me feel so damn special
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
If I don't have carpet burn in the morning you aren't trying hard enough.
If you are wondering why there is half eaten pizza in your pocket it's because you were passed out with it in your hand in my bathtub. Today's your b-day and thought I'd give you a good idea about what happened last night as a present
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
So, then you thought it was a good idea to dress up like the Hamburglar, buy a bag full of McDonalds hamburgers, go to Burger King and throw them at everyone while screaming "HAMBURGLAR!". At that point there was no stopping you.
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
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