But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
Public safety found my id!
And i can't find my bra so i'm assuming they found my bra with my id which would explain the disapproving tone the lady on the phone had.
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
You're like the curious george of whores
Jesus once told his disciples that its better to hang out with your best friend than give some douche bag a bj.
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
I've been asked to reupholster their slam-couch so I found some off-cuts of medical-grade, hermetically sealed fabric. She'll be slammed upon for generations to come.
dropping lines from Workaholics has slowly become my icebreaker when hitting on girls. who would have thought "lets get weird" would cause girls to actually get weird
Kids parked next to me are getting it on. I'm eating chicken nuggets listening to Kanye alone. Happy Valentine's Day.
I drank too much tequila. I'm hyperventilating. Send help. I think I slipped through satan's asshole.
I don't think I've ever been sadder than the way I feel when I finish my meal while I'm high
I think I'm dead. Also I think I stole $20 from a stripper.
You did. Then gave it to me.
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
Randomize
