Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
It's always a surprise to see what songs I shazamed and downloaded last night while we were drunk at the bar.
The only piece of furniture in the apartment is a wine rack.
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
It was just a squirrel
You act like its normal to see a squirrel in the bar
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
He sent me a selfie with his cat. He has found a way to my heart. And pants.
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
Randomize
