CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
A guy in a sombrero stopped to take a picture with me sitting on the curb.
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
I got offered a handle of vodka and tomato soup to bring his dog home. He knows me all too well.
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
There's an owl outside. I feel like he's hooing directly at me.
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
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