we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
Dude, sorry for live texting you my binge drinking. If you'd like me to do the same for my hangover, I can share that I just had to sit down while q-tipping my ears.
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
I feel like getting drunk at the airport is sort of a rite of passage into adulthood, but maybe i should reserve that occasion for a flight thats not just 1 hr
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
Who knew I could feel anymore shameful at the bar than i usually do...I think my bartender recognizes me from the walk of shame out of his house after i hooked up with his son yesterday
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
You set fire to his cat.
In my defense, I did not think it would be in the trash bag.
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
Randomize
