My liver just broke up with me...
Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
My life is literally "I'm too horny you can't leave" or "let's have pie" there's like no inbetween
Why does your life consist of lesbians, black guys and cats?
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
Today's goals: get day drunk then sober up in time for the walking dead tonight.
I tried to order dominos and couldn't but I accidentally placed an order for this morning. I knew I did it last night and was gonna call and cancel this morning but honestly it's coming in 30 minutes and I need it
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
Randomize
