I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
and unfortunately for you, hallmark doesnt make a "sorry i was getting a blowie in the backseat of your car while you were driving, projectiled my jizz onto your hand, and caused you to crash" card
Ever find yourself wondering if your life is God's way of telling a joke?
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
Drunk me Does not appreciate a drunk, naked you kicking me off the couch at 3am. You have a bed here, you dick
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
He's tiny, but ripped. Like a stacked hobbit. He's going to pull our sexy, crime-fighting rickshaw.
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
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