Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
The freshman came home at 9 this morning with one heel, no pants, and a strangers sweatshirt covered in tequila-scented vomit. I think we're done corrupting her for a while.
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
He was so hammered. He called the cops on the landscapers he thought they were trespassing. 2 were arrested on warrants.
Let's celebrate that I used a condom
If you don't come home and fuck me soon I'm walking over there naked and dragging you home by your penis
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
Randomize
