I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
Do you have a shampoo for semen
Or a time machine
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
apparently while i was high i thought that putting a dinosaur temporary tattoo on my inner thigh would keep me from taking my pants off and having sex with him...
...it didn't...
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
Randomize
