PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
So my roomate was sunbathing this morning on the porch with a sock covering his penis
Sounds like a really classy character....
He is classy. It was argyle.
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
Need toilet paper. Napkins suck. Slowly running out of those two and the bleeding hasn't stopped. Your cat is next
You had me at "mimosas" several texts ago.
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
man sorry about that. It's like god was willing me to be an asshole. I haven't filled my quota for the day
Not really how I planned to achieve immortality, but I'll take it.
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
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