Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
Why do I always give away anal sex as birthday presents?
Shut up... one mans birthday cake is another mans sodomy my friend
At the miami airport. Don't know if it's all the tequila I drank in cozumel or the 5 year olds french accent but I might puke.
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
Dude, seduce him with cookies. You almost turned me gay with scones. Don't be surprised when they get you laid.
Of course the first guy who sees my nipple piercings is a Catholic from Nebraska who won't do anything but dry hump me.
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
Dude I woke up with a handprint shaped bruise on my ass, a pong ball in my cleavage, and somebody else's gold chain around my neck. Who's house am I in?
Sorry I banged your sister. But in my defense you ain't fucked me in a month. In fact I should get a medal for keeping it in your family.
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
Randomize
