ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
i kept drunkenly begging people i met to be in my facebook mafia
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
I just woke up to people screaming "funnel" in my kitchen....
Happy St. Patrick's Day.
You wouldn't let me clean the puke off your face because I'd mess up your cat whiskers. Now that's dedication.
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
So awkward... The newspaper lady just caught me sitting stoned in my driveway at 5 am and asked if I was okay. I'm way better than ok right now
Ok I'm good with that cause I'm gonna disappear for 90 days
Are you goin to rehab again?
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
So that groomsmen was naked under his kilt. Also I just had sex in the elevator. And yes, those two updates are definitely related.
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
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