Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
The chick who threw the party was all pissed cause she thought I made out with her boyfriend. Admittedly, I did, but she was throwing up and crying at the time so she really can't be that mad.
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
I'm responsible for my client's overall well-being. Which is terrifying coming from someone that can't stop masturbating and eats leftover pizza just about everyday.
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
Yeah when I texted her last night the only response I got was "stoned eating cobbler."
just saw a kid get pissed on buy a tiger at the zoo. His dad is rofling and the kid is crying. I think I have to go make a new friend
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
Randomize
