I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
Your wedding's just one more day in my life I can't wear sweat pants.
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
Just saw you in traffic. You may have noticed me, I was the corpse driving the white car.
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
Also, my old intern Lizzie whom you fed pizza to last night wants to hang out with you
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
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