scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill?
Afraid I'm about to get arrested. Complicated situation but not a joke. If I do not text again that all is clear within 90 minutes kindly begin bail process. I have the cash to repay as soon as I get home. Details later.
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
I may or may not have told him that he's "the only one with a PHD in this pussy"... I should like direct cheesy porno flicks or something.
Doesn't matter how many times we tell him the kid's a freshman, he keeps repeating "cupcake boy shall be mine" and honestly you need to intervene
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
Uber driver has left leg up on the dash and turn signal on for about a mile, there's Chipotle wrappers on the floor, but she's hot. 5 stars.
I'll be wearing lingerie and holding a bottle of bourbon so pick up whatever food you think goes with that
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
Randomize
