I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
my goal in life is to wake up with my underwear on
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
He was asleep with his head on a windowsill and you were petting his head, then you almost left the kitchen and then went back to pet him some more.
Someone explain why I'm twerking in my bathroom right now before a charity run
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
Also my face is like def lowkey made of silly putty
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
My boobs look fucktastic, I have a booty call on Sunday and a dick photo on my phone. Life is grand!
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
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