She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
I think the neighbors upstairs are trying for more kids. I want to run up there and yell "mazal tov!"
She was wasted. Kept yelling "what if I'm pregnant" and trying to push me into the tree. First and last time I bring a girl to my family christmas party.
i was mowing the lawn and found the coffee pot in the bushes
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us.
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
I Pavlov-trained him by smacking him in the nuts anytime I caught him looking at another girl in public. To this day, he's afraid to break eye contact with me in a restaurant if a tall busty blonde walks in.
In case you were wondering, yes I did just watch the Katy Perry movie alone on a Saturday night. I'm so alone it makes a noise.
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
I just sucked dick on a ferry
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
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