Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
Drunbk and roasting marshmallows on my stove. Accidentally singed the catr's fur but she'sd alright.
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
Got laid in my rudolph onesie for the second year in a row. New tradition? Absolutely.
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
Randomize
