finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
so this guy on craigslist is offering a case of beer to shave his back. i think i'm gonna take him up on it.
Dude, this old lady messaged me on Facebook talking about her grandson and wanted to know shit about me. I'd almost call her a cougar except she looks like mashed potatoes that have come alive.
Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things.
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
Just caught myself trying to make grilled cheese with the stove off. I think my dad knows I'm high.
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
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