Haha na a cat just ran under your car. Howd that happen?
Probably a woman cat. Doesnt think things through
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
I made out with an Italian cab driver. Not cool. Help. Good news he will drive us anywhere we want to go as long as you cook food?!?!?! I want to melt into the pavement.
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
Sorry, I know you're at the airport but a gram of coke is missing so good luck with security!
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
But lunch with my dad really just means an hour and a half of him telling me how he's disappointed and how he knows I'm on drugs
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
Randomize
