sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
It's either my own vomit or popcorn butter in my ear right now. Banking on the second one.
We made popcorn last night. So it's both
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
Please warn me if you ever end up in porn, cause I don't want to stumble across that on accident, okay?
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
I love how you sexted me before you told me happy birthday. Thank you.
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
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