I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
i want two things in life...emily to stop talking and a block of cheese.
some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
I just stood up and am wasted. I think I just admitted to my mom that I am trying to fuck everyone in New York because they're skinny and ethnically ambiguous. Meanwhile, happy hour isn't over yet.
I need you to do me a favor and hide my sword from me tonight. I'm planning on drinking my weight in vodka and I don't trust myself enough to not run through campus screaming "I AM SPARTA!" You'll be saving me a mugshot as well as saving some innocent girls from tears.
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
I just found glitter from our Father's Day party on my balls this morning.
DAD WTF
On a scale from 1 to banned, how offensive do you think it would be to wish my vibrator happy Valentine's Day on various social media outlets?
One of the Mormon boys that comes to the door is really sexy and I always think 'I would absolutely destroy your faith'
Randomize
