there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.
i wish i could tell my students that all of their lessons plans were brought to them by captain morgan and diet coke. it's like seasame street, only for high schoolers being taught by a student teacher.
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
The not so cute guy next to me made me play Kid Rock on the jukebox but I'm a big believer in free drinks so I obliged.
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
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