blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
He offered me a 30 pack if I don't bring her to the party. Am I a bad friend If I take his offer?
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
You texted me "Americans are sad" and "chicken coop disaster" without any further explanation.
Old lady caught me peeing in the street and yelled at me and said "I REBUKE YOU"
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
i wear a size 32DD bra. its basically impossible for me to get a speeding ticket
Major life highlight, she said my dick taste like coffee.
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
I just made myself 3 peanut butter sammies because I was too hungry to watch porn
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