you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
the party we crashed was not a party. the party we crashed was jens grandads funeral.
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
So apparently after he gets hammered, falls down a set of stairs and gets a concussion, he can still come home and find a way to play his guitar solo bullshit as loud as possible while i seduce my date...
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
You insisted on calling your mixture of Bacardi & powdered milk "a Jamacian Facial."
This was the first time I've ever pushed myself until I vomited. Sorry, random couple laying on a dock at 8:30am. I would have picked a better spot so you didn't have to watch/listen to me vomit, but you guys were being MAD quiet. I had no idea you were there.
Well I smoked some weird shit and I think I peed on my phone.
We spent 45 minutes searching the crevices of our friend's car with a pair of tweezers trying to find the acid that we dropped
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
She’s the kind of asshole whose face I want to put on a T-shirt just so I can go outside and burn it.
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