I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
Ketchup is God's man juice
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
the sad thing is, im pretty sure she was serious about giving me head for my falafel
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
Drunk me is basically the Oprah of nudes. Everyone gets one.
idk i was trying to watch Fuller House and you got up out of a dead sleep, just in your boxers, said "no more Dave Coulier" and walked out to the living room and unplugged the router
Randomize