I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
I checked into jail on foursquare
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
I'd love you more if you were covered in hot cheetos
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
Randomize
