I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
as evidence of my kitchen this morning my night involved alot of mustard and condoms
my mom just texted me to let me know that Hooters is hiring
i wish my mom had big dreams like that for me
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
All three of my roommates have their significant others over. We're all hanging out in the living room. It's like I'm the trifecta of third-wheeling
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
Randomize
