wake up i wanna do it froggy style
i opened her purse and found 4 bottles of vodka tampons and an unopened box of birth control...
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
all I wanna do is swim in an Olympic sized pool of Gatorade and tylenol.
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
Yeah. That's the shitty part. God, I don't want to be a step mom. Sure I'm great with kids, but I just want unlimited sex and not have to worry about making friends with a fucking 7 year old.
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
This time last year I was crying in a church parking lot without shoes or a bra, so the years can only go up from here
So when he asked me to go on a date tonight, I didn't think the words "have you tried a suppository" would be part of the evening.
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
Randomize
