Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
There is a stranger person in my roommates bed...
I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
I wasn't sure if "you're even prettier in the dark" was a compliment. Hmm.
okay, I promise to stop paying strippers to hit you
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
I feel like it should at least be like a "hey look I'm actually fine that I drunkenly gave you my virginity!" friend request.
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
I don’t have the time, patience, or blood alcohol level to deal with her.
don't take this the wrong way, but I'm not drunk but I need you to take me to the ER and you're the most likely to not be drunk now.
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
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