My first STD was from a foam party
I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
woke up to an unread text message i sent to myself: "brreakfdast..pork and ice cream."
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
You kept mumbling that you could become one with the carpet as you proceeded to give yourself the worst carpet burn I have ever seen
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
premonition: im going to wake up covered in mashed potatoes
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
Randomize
