hey soul. what's that? you, dignity and pride are left for the night? coulda told me that before i vomited all over my mother.
the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
There's a man in a pair of gray footie pajamas and a paper crown watching the kids at the playground. It was easier to tell who was a pedophile before Where the Wild Things Are came out.
So, apparently, "i expected your penis to be bigger" isn't good pillow talk.
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
I made him leave at 3am, he texted me a couple minutes later and said the elevator was broken and he was sleeping in there, but he said I was worth it so I don't feel guilty
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
Feels like someone put a cigar out where my butthole used to live
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
Are you sexting with minion stickers right now?
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
Randomize
