I'm afraid we're only dating because we're too lazy to look for anyone else.
My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
If Jon and Kate can get divorced...how hard can it be for me?
If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
She just started grabbing all the hospital's rubber gloves and face masks and shoving them in her purse, saying, "My tax money paid for these!"
He chucked my pickle at the bouncer. Fucker, I wanted that.
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
We knew it was a good time to leave when you spilt the salsa on the ground and were trying to put it back in the jar with your hands
My dad, when he got home and saw me loading a bowl in the living room: "We have TWO beautiful balconies to get high on and you pick the couch?!"
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
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