11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
I smell like Captain Morgan and tears
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
She was pouring Goldschlager in my mouth during the shower sex. How can you NOT like her?
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
I'm sending midget strippers dressed as bull fighters with mini bottles of 1800 to your house. Already made the call. Jer is going halves on it. Can't be stopped! Won't be stopped!
After we had breakup sex it took him longer to say goodbye to my boobs than it did to me...
How about this: I support you through your miserable marriage, and you support me through all my anonymous sex?
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when I get back.
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