oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
My nephew just came out playing with my moms vibrator.
you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
Her husband keeps getting drunk and making out with me. Good news is I found the strep carrier. Bad news is have strep again.
sorry for throwing an entire water bottle of vodka at you. It was very wasteful
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
I just slow jerked to the titanic theme song, i dont think theres enough alcohol in the state to get me over her tonight
I keep confusing the name of her and her dog. Both are appropriate.
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
You were wearing a cookie monster onesie and telling everyone you were actually the sausage monster..
On the bright side I still got laid
He got up in the middle of the show and returned with this massive ham shank, then offered me some by asking "wanna suckle on my hog." Should I be offended?
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
Randomize
