Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
She gets me. First thing she said this morning "I'll buy breakfast if you can tell me my name."
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
Ok I'm drunk as fuck already at 529 and this waitress started flirting with me, I wanna bang her for acknowledging my existence
I sign my lease Thursday, I'm about to be released back into the wild.
I'll make missing person signs.
You're a good friend.
Just broke into the basement of my house via my american red cross blood donor card. I officially save lives
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
Oh shit. My bra is undone and I'm pretty sure I peed on my sandal
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
Randomize
