this homeless guy just told me to make a wish on his magic plastic spoon but said to be careful what i wish for...
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
Your tequila is gone. I suggest you bring more home before you go out for dinner. Money is taped to mailbox.
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
you kept saying "i will not *breathe* regret this *breathe* in the morning *breathe* i just gotta remember *breathe* to BREATHE"
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
Randomize
