Let's just say there is a bloody hand print above my bed and it's not mine. Literally.
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
i tied my phone to a string attached to my bra. i am NOT losing it tonight
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
I now have a "weirdest thing a guy ever did in bed" story. Cut my fingernails.
Yeah I'm gonna need you to stop it right there.I know this is supposed to be a safe space but Imma have to exit.
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
You told me you could hear my heartbeat through my penis but your methods were unethical.
Sixty five beats a minute. I stand by that.
Randomize
