I heard we made out
Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
I just stuffed five dollars in my near empty box of camels to remind myself to buy more. And my mom says I don't budget my money
Pls don't use the words alligator, purple, and sperm in the same sentence ever again.
I am sweating out the vodka to make room for the whiskey tonight.
Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
I don't know how it happened. All I did was tell her I was impressed by her presentation. Her nail marks on my back ain't going away anytime soon.
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
Randomize
